Tonight was WUOG's last night in Memorial Hall. It has resided there for the last 36 years and now we are moving to a brand new station. I had the privilege to play the last chosen song on air, Pavements - Major Leagues. I wasn't expecting to get emotional, but when I started to think about all the memories made in that attic space I choked up. We've always been the underdogs looking out at the rest of the campus playing our music no one else knows about and we've been satisfied, very satisfied. Though we often try to hide it, there is an unspoken us against the world mentality. We have gotten flack for it, but like any subculture there is power in our ideals. Now we will be in the thick of it for everyone to see us. I will miss the graffiti on the walls, the layers of dust caking the desks, the fact there isn't a bathroom - all the things that made our nook a home. At the end of the day, I don't believe these are the things that make us unique. Instead, it's the ideals that set us apart. So change our location and give us new equipment. Tear down these walls and coat the rest we have called home for so many years with paint. We will still be standing by obscurity and saying bring on the major leagues...

I sort of hate this blog. There - I said it. I hate this blog. I thought it would be cool to write about things again, but this has become some strange listing of events and accomplishments/challenges. I feel like I am writing a cover letter more than expressing anything in here. I'm not saying I want to do some emotional purge into the internet world. Yes, I have matured slightly since 19. I'm just saying there must be a balance between emotion and events. It's sort of funny I'm having this blogger identity crisis. I'm listening to the song Who Am I Supposed To Be by John Lennon from the Royal Tenenbaums soundtrack. I used to listen to this song on repeat. Some things never change.

I'm home alone. I just had some hot chocolate and watched ace of cakes. instead of ironing out the kinks in my resume and cover letter for internships i'm sitting here looking up cake design tricks. i don't know why i'm even writing in this thing. probably just to waste time. so i'm applying for 2 intenships as of now. the one i want the most is with lauren greenfield. I'm trying to remain positive, but i don't want to get my hopes up. i feel like i could learn so much from working in her studio over the summer. I know I could do a good job, I just hope they can see that potential. The other one is FotoVision, a nonprofit dedicated to documentary photography. I have been in contact with them and they seem very excited about me applying. I'm going to check out a few other organizations, but I'm going to make it my goal to get all the information out to those two by wednesday. They are both based out of California and I've never seen myself on the west coast. FotoVision is in San Francisco and Lauren Greenfield is in Venice. Who knows, maybe i'll love that part of the country. Noah said he wouldn't mind moving out there for the summer before he leaves the country. That was nice to hear because I don't want to add to the months I wont see him. But last night he found out that many med schools dont take AP credits for foundation classes like bio so he might be here over the summer finishing that up. I really hope that isn't the case. He's burning out and I don't know if he can do much more in this pressure cooker. Keep your fingers crossed. So that's pretty much the notable things in my life right now. I'm going to be the news director at the staion for another year and I'm excited about that as well. We are headed in a good direction. We have an RSS feed for our podcast which makes me feel pretty cool. I'm still using this as a tool to waste time so I'm going to stop that now.

So I have this staff about 5 - 6 kids at the radio station and I love them. They are so excited about projects and are ready to do anything. Collectively, they have been doing top of the hour news cast, writing their own stories for athens journal, organizing pre and post student debate video podcasts about politics on campus, started a show called My Athens about different groups on campus, and doing interviews for The Resource. Organizing a group of kids who are ambitious is so much better than the alternative. I think I'm most excited about the My Athens project. The three ideas on the table for it right now are My Athens: My life as a Muslim student, My Athens: My life as a student with a handicap, and My Athens: My life as a retiree. I just had a meeting with them and they did such a good job i had to put my feelings down somewhere. Thank you, blog.

I'm also going to see Purple Rain for the first time tonight.

And I went to my 5 year high school reunion. I even wore high heels.

Joel Sternfeld

pretending to be a bad ass

I went to my first triathlon club practice tonight. I'd love to tell you all about it, but I'm completely exhausted.

today is a good day. for one, im quiting my job. i'm just not cut out to be a barista. i don't drink coffee and i find the fact that people do with so much insistence annoying. i mean, come on, is it really that great? i know it's just a job that pays $7 an hour plus tips, but i would like to think i was doing something a little more than serving addiction out. So, therefore, i'm quiting and i dont think i'm going to get another job for the semester. with so many classes and all im trying to do with the radio station, i think its the right choice. this means going a little more into debt, but i think its worth it because if i do well now then (cross your fingers) i can get a better job down the line.
today my friend helen is visiting athens. she has been in the philippines for the last year and might be one of the coolest people i know. her positive attitude is contagious and ive never heard her speak a bad word about anyone. thats something to admire in someone because god knows im not that way. its refreshing to be around. she just got into town and im looking forward to seeing the sites in athens with her and eating at some of her favorite restaurants. oh athens... it really is a great place. i dont know why i knocked it before i came here.
so my new home is working out so well. already i have the comfortable feeling in my stomach when i walk into the house. good stuff.
So here are the classes im taking: Art and Gender Art History, Special Topics in Photography, Large Format Photography, Credibility and News Media, Spanish.
Im going to go see Helen now.

harder than it looks

I've started work on this interview series called The Resource where I interview interesting and influential people in the Athens area.  So far I've interviewed Craig Page, the founder of a nonprofit that deals with supporting locally grown foods called P.L.A.C.E.  It definitely went well but there are always places you can improve.  Tomorrow I'm interviewing Art Rosenbaum, an artist and musician who has been field recording traditional regional music since 1957.  I've been researching this evening to come up with questions and came across a New Yorker magazine podcast and article written about him and my interest in this man has tripled since listening to it.  I'm slightly intimidated by him for some reason.  Maybe it's because he has made a name for himself in the field of documenting like I'd one day like to do.  Just a year ago he could of been my professor, but now he is retired and so many people have talked so highly of him that I get a little nervous every time we get on the phone.  I end up talking to quickly, not introducing myself, and generally feelings like an ass.  Maybe it will be better in person tomorrow.  I certainly hope so. 

 

sometimes i feel really behind. my friend nina is buying this house. she's 24, just graduated, working as a project manager for a green real estate company. she landed a nice job out of school and is saving up for grad school. the house is a foreclosure so it's not like she's buying at typical market prices. But the thought of being able to buy anything for $150,000 is mind blowing to me. Sigh... i'll be there one day. I think more than any other 'adult' thing, i want to own a home. my whole life i've lived in rental properties and owning a home will feel so solid to me. one day... one day...
tomorrow is the peachtree road race. i'm trying to pregame for tomorrow. I ran 6 miles last night. I had a fruit smoothie for breakfast, pasta for lunch, and i plan to have pasta again for dinner. I've been drinking a whole lot of water so I'm not dehydrated at the race. I'm peeing like a race horse. Yeah, this is going to be fun. I've wanted to do this for years and i'm finally doing it. I'm going to bed early tonight and getting up around 5:30 to catch marta. So I've heard they hand out free krispy kremes on the side of the road to racers. I think that is so weird. And then brunch with my mom, the koons and andrea. Then, later on, fireworks. Thats the plan. I should get packing.

Trippin Kenyans

I ran 6 miles last night. The Peachtree is 6.2 miles. I think it's in the bag. Grant it, I haven't ran any big hills, but I'm going to let adrenalin and mob mentality help me with that. I feel self sufficient and healthy when I say I ran that far. I can't believe it's next week. It's going to be a good day. I plan on swimming all day and watching fireworks that night. I could only run about half a mile in the beginning in January. I'm not fast at all, but I do it and that's the only thing that matters to me. Maybe next year I will try to work on my time.

So - I'm thinking of setting up a new fitness goal after this is done. There is a mini-triathlon on my birthday this year. It's a 400 yard swim, 13 mile bike race, and 5k (3.1 mile) run at Lake Lanier. I feel comfortable with the running and biking. It's just the swimming that is completely foreign to me. I don't even know how difficult 400 yards is. We will see if I do it, but it would be really cool to bring in my 24th birthday with a triathlon. I'd really have to step up the training. I've only been running like 1 - 3 times a week since January. I'd have to work out 4 times a week doing 2 activities each time. We will see... It would feel cool to do it though. Here's the website.

I realized something on my run last night. I haven't been doing this to get fit, but instead I've been trying to show myself that I have perseverance, that I can make myself do things I don't initially want to do for the sake of a goal. I think the lesson is starting to sink in. I often feel reluctant to work hard at something. It's not that I don't want to do it, but its sometimes hard to get started. Doing stuff like these events makes me feel more capable on some level. And healthier too.

okay - off to class.

So my friend Helen moved to the Phillipines after graduation last year to work for a nonprofit. Her blog is pretty amazing because the way she describes the differences in culture and her everyday activities seems so accurate you almost feel like you are in Tagalog with her. Her family has visited one by one and last night I received a video of her brother eating balut. For those of you that don't know what balut is, it's a nearly developed chicken embryo still in the egg eaten through a hole on top of the egg. It looks like this.

This is considered a delicacy!  Anyway... I wanted to share the video with someone because i can't imagine anyone eating this 17 day old egg.  Oh other cultures...  It's so fascinating how different cultures look at food.  One of Noah's friends from Japanese class was telling me how they don't serve raw vegetables in Japan and how their teacher who came to America about 13 years ago thought it was so weird when she saw how we put vegetable plates out with dip at parties.   

Okay - here's the video.

Michel Gondry Solves a Rubics Cube

ive been home since wednesday and ive been loving my lazy days in marietta. my activities have consisted in napping, reading, taking baths, running, watching This American Life, reading Before Night Falls, and socializing in small doses. with all food and drinks included, I feel I'm living the high life. ive enjoyed my time away from athens partly because it takes a lot for me to relax in that city. it's so closely connected to my get-shit-done mode in my brain that its hard to switch gears there. oh but marietta, marietta is a completely different story, there is absolutely no pressure what-so-ever. i spend most of my day in pajama pants and oversized undershirts and i don't feel guilty for it in the least. columns drive is an exceptional place to go running. apparently, all those joggers knew what they were doing all these years. this lifestyle can't last forever so i'm going back to athens on sunday to work and have a bit of summer before classes start in june. im excited about socializing with my friends before school starts up. its nice to see people out without school hanging in the background.

i saw this documentary on mother's day at the tara. it was pretty cute and i'd suggest everyone go see it.

I bought this poster today. I don't buy things like this often. I typically consider fandom a luxuries I can't afford, so the fact I forked over 25 bucks is saying a lot. The mailman never knew a more eager patron. It's going over my bed and I can't wait.

pipe dreams

so my mom has decided she is going to win this house. she's stuffing the ballet box with green postcards with a family portrait on the front of it. In her words, she's a perfect candidate and why not her? They are looking for a single individual that fits their viewing demographic and she is exactly that.  I think it's pretty great, honestly.  It gives her something to do during the commercials on CNN.  Not that I think she will win, though I really hope she does, but I'm glad she has something to focus on. She's tenacious so might as well put it to use.  It's hard not to dream though. Her enthusiasm is infectious and it would make her life much better. She has always wanted a home, but it has always been out of her grasp for one reason or another. At this point in her life, she deserves it. I know it's silly to think about but one of my friends mom once stuffed a ballot box for a radio contest and won a car. It is a possibility and all she needs is for you to cross your fingers for her and her little neon green postcards.

good kid

can't get enough of this song Atlas by Battles. I heard it on WUOG the other day and have been listening to it ever since. Apparently, I like math rock? I'm starting to think I've missed out on a lot of cool things I classified as 'not me' or 'for other people'. Other notable example - football. Never saw that one coming.
The way they jump around in this video makes me want to be in a band or, at the very least, be a groupie. I bounced my head to their precise beats the whole way to Atlanta today. I like how they move when they are performing too. I'm keeping my eyes peeled for their next Georgia show.

Life is good today. I did lock my keys in the car and was rear ended, but those were overshadowed by getting to hanging out with my niece. We went ice skating and made Easter eggs. It's pretty great watching her grow up. It's crazy how much she has grown up in just a few months. There is no dumbing down or baby talk any more. She gets my jokes and teases me. I'm really proud of her for being such a cool kids even through so much chaos. She's singing in the bathtub right now and my heart is swelling up a little. I'm going to write her a little note telling her that in her Easter card tomorrow.
Time for sleep, I have to get up in the morning and take pictures.

july 4th 2008

So I did it. I turned in my application for the peachtree road race. My new years resolution of completing the race has gone to the next level. I'm excited and nervous about doing it. I'm so far from being able to run the whole thing but I'm going to try. I decided a few weeks back that my goal is to run the majority of it. The fact of the matter is, I'm doing it and that's good enough for now. Next year I will worry about my time and running the whole thing. I'm not giving up on completing it without walking breaks, but I'm not going to kill myself over it either. Here are the Tshirt designs for this years run. I want #2 to win.

I'm officially downtrodden.  Today I found out that the scholarship I applied for and felt reasonably certain I would get went to 2 other girls in my class.  I talked to on of the teachers yesterday, one of the head photo guy who also went to Yale grad school, to ask when we would find something out about the scholarship.  He said that he thought only the people receiving the scholarship would be contacted.  When he asked who I was and I told him my name I could tell I didn't get it.  But the up side to all this is he said, "I personally really liked your photos." Then went on to describe what he liked about them, which meant a lot since his opinion is the one I respect most in the photo department.  I could tell from the way he was talking that he voted for me, but that 'personally' really did me in.  It's weird how one word can tell you so much.  I guess it's not that big of a deal.  I guess I shouldn't take this as I'm untalented and incapable of doing anything as a photographer, but I've gotta admit, I sat in the bathroom stall and felt all those things intensely.  The saving grace is Steven's comment.  In my heart, I know I have a good eye.   Maybe I lack work ethic, but I have a good eye.  Right now, I feel like I have to use this as motivation to work harder.  Just a few good photos per semester is just not enough.  I know that, but for some reason I haven't been able to make myself shoot more.  I'm going to use this as a spring board to take more pictures.  That's the only positive and productive thing I can do with this.

BUT!  I got the apartment I want to live in next year, which is pretty great.  It's an old, well taken care of, 1890's house with big windows and a lot of charm.  I'm pretty excited about it. 

Talk to Her directed by Almodovar is one of my favorite movies and it has a great deal to do with this song, Fale com Ela, sung by Caetano Veloso. I wish I could describe its impact beyond the fact his control and gentile tone cradles and soothes me, but I am not that eloquent. At the end of the day, a song is a song and the very best speak for themselves. The rest of the movie is amazing as well, but for now please enjoy this.

the new

the new house. the new city that is turning familiar. the new boyfriend. the new friends. the new family dynamic. the new older me. the new path. the new new new. all this new needed a fresh forum. ive decided to keep this to myself for awhile to see what i can extract from myself. its been a long time since ive written in a journal format so im going to see what comes out without thinking about an audience.
this weekend i moved into my new home. its nice, nicer than the last place. ive spent, get this, the
last 3 consecutive nights in my bed. it wasnt that i wanted to live with noah, though i did enjoy the company, it was that my old place felt so dirty and, frankly, scary. i never felt clean or happy to be there, more like a boarder at a halfway house for biker punks. tonight i made vegan cupcakes and talked about lesbians with my roommates and friends. there are two cats, a washer and dryer, and nice people, all of which make a much better fit. the locks are tricky and tonight i burned myself on the stove handle that gets so hot you have to use an oven mitt to open it, but these things can be overlooked.
athens is becoming a home. i know how to get places, i can give you recommendations to where to go for good brunch, i wave or say hi atleast once on my daily walks. I like the smallness to the place. It's quaint and will undoubtedly become claustrophobic, but it works for now. For the first time I feel myself settling down, possibly even maturing. I don't know how to feel about this. Often, I find myself performing small acts of rebellion, little things, nothing too harmful, like smoking 2 cigarettes on the back porch to pretend I don't worry about things like getting older.
it is getting late, and i have an 8 am class.